I really hate the fact that I am going to make a ranting post about friends and stuff, but I had the idea of writing on in the shower, and I just have the urge to do it. Its not going to be mean or anything, just showing my annoyances and wishes. So here I go...(I really say "So" a lot lol)
I miss you guys. Yeah I know I see all of you basically everyday, but I still miss YOU. You meaning not just your physical presence but your personalities as well. Now what I am saying goes out to A LOT of people, not just a few, but I am just combining it all together and each of you can take out of it what you want. As much as I hate to say, I am not sure if I feel like I can call you my 'best friends' anymore. We all used to be really close and it was building up for awhile, but now I feel like thats changed. I feel like we are all going in our different directions, whether it's with another or not. Again, we are literally and figuratively going in our different directions. As much as it sucks, I think its inevitable. You can disagree with me on this, but that is just how I see it. I've seen it happen before, but apparently I am always the only one that ever sees it. Maybe its because I have never had a group of friends for this long before, I don't know. It may seem silly that I am so paranoid and worried about this, but I just really miss what we used to have. Now I don't know if there is any specific reasons as to why things are changing, but in my mind they are. I know that we have our little issues but I feel like its different this time. To be honest, Im sort of tired of fighting to be friends with you guys. Like really, you are not worth it if I have to be the one that puts all the effort into it. To be honest again, lately I feel like you've been acting differently towards me. I dont know why, is it because you feel betrayed that I dont feel comfortable talking to you about things? If so, well seriously, thats your fault. You've set yourself up in this friendship to be the one that I don't go to if I have a problem. We talked about one aspect of this the other night, and well to be honest that changed nothing. And then when you gave me attitude the other night, yeah well you're not helping your situation out. So seriously, if you have something to say, just say it because I am done with being the one to approach you about everything. I am also done being the one that always starts the conversations. You can't complain to me about not talking to you or anything like that if you dont try and put in some effort in communicating with me as well. Like there is no way you can say to me "We haven' talked in a while. Its weird." and then expect me to be like "Oh my god I know!" when I had texted you multiple times and you never answered. Once again you are not helping yourself either. And if thats the way its gotta be where we dont talk for days, then I am going to let it be like that, I am done fighting to be your friend. Also, I am done (I am done with a lot of things) but I am done with letting you treat me like I am beneath you when ever I try to talk to you about a problem. I don't know what has gotten into you lately, but you constantly make me feel stupid when I try to talk to you about something. We always end up fighting about stupid stuff, and then you turn it all around on me and make me feel like I am being the over the top one, when in reality you just dont want to admit that I have valid points and most likely know more about the topic than you do. But I can never win with you.
Anyway. That is what is just currently on my mind. Expect some confrontation later because that is what I am planning on doing. You guys are ridiculous and I am starting to not think you are worth it anymore. Sorry for everyone (or no one) who decides to read this.
I miss you guys. Yeah I know I see all of you basically everyday, but I still miss YOU. You meaning not just your physical presence but your personalities as well. Now what I am saying goes out to A LOT of people, not just a few, but I am just combining it all together and each of you can take out of it what you want. As much as I hate to say, I am not sure if I feel like I can call you my 'best friends' anymore. We all used to be really close and it was building up for awhile, but now I feel like thats changed. I feel like we are all going in our different directions, whether it's with another or not. Again, we are literally and figuratively going in our different directions. As much as it sucks, I think its inevitable. You can disagree with me on this, but that is just how I see it. I've seen it happen before, but apparently I am always the only one that ever sees it. Maybe its because I have never had a group of friends for this long before, I don't know. It may seem silly that I am so paranoid and worried about this, but I just really miss what we used to have. Now I don't know if there is any specific reasons as to why things are changing, but in my mind they are. I know that we have our little issues but I feel like its different this time. To be honest, Im sort of tired of fighting to be friends with you guys. Like really, you are not worth it if I have to be the one that puts all the effort into it. To be honest again, lately I feel like you've been acting differently towards me. I dont know why, is it because you feel betrayed that I dont feel comfortable talking to you about things? If so, well seriously, thats your fault. You've set yourself up in this friendship to be the one that I don't go to if I have a problem. We talked about one aspect of this the other night, and well to be honest that changed nothing. And then when you gave me attitude the other night, yeah well you're not helping your situation out. So seriously, if you have something to say, just say it because I am done with being the one to approach you about everything. I am also done being the one that always starts the conversations. You can't complain to me about not talking to you or anything like that if you dont try and put in some effort in communicating with me as well. Like there is no way you can say to me "We haven' talked in a while. Its weird." and then expect me to be like "Oh my god I know!" when I had texted you multiple times and you never answered. Once again you are not helping yourself either. And if thats the way its gotta be where we dont talk for days, then I am going to let it be like that, I am done fighting to be your friend. Also, I am done (I am done with a lot of things) but I am done with letting you treat me like I am beneath you when ever I try to talk to you about a problem. I don't know what has gotten into you lately, but you constantly make me feel stupid when I try to talk to you about something. We always end up fighting about stupid stuff, and then you turn it all around on me and make me feel like I am being the over the top one, when in reality you just dont want to admit that I have valid points and most likely know more about the topic than you do. But I can never win with you.
Anyway. That is what is just currently on my mind. Expect some confrontation later because that is what I am planning on doing. You guys are ridiculous and I am starting to not think you are worth it anymore. Sorry for everyone (or no one) who decides to read this.
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